Hide and Seek
by butterfly1919
Summary: For years Lily has been on the run. She lives in a world where muggleborns are not welcome, not even in Hogwarts. But there are people who want this injustice to end and they are willing to help. Even if it means risking their lives and hiding her in their own home. (James/Lily)
1. Preface

**Hello everyone :) so this is a story that has been on my mind for a while. The story is slightly based on** ** _The Book Thief_** **by Markus Zusak, but only in the beginning. Later on it's going to be quite different.**

 **I have written oneshots so far, therefore I'm not sure if I'm going to be a fast updater... so please bear with me ;)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or The Book Thief or any other... unfortunately.**

 _Hide and seek_

 _Preface_

Lily Evans' family was pretty perfect.

She had a loving and patient father, who gave always good advice whenever she needed one. She had a caring and affectionate mother, who would always throw open her arms expansively, whenever she needed a hug. She had a headstrong and broadminded older sister, who she would argue with but they loved each other nonetheless.

Lily Evans' friends were pretty perfect.

She had a quiet and shy best friend, who knew all her secrets. She had a lively and courageous friend, who would always make her laugh. She had an easy-going and happy-go-lucky friend, who she could talk about nothing and everything with.

Lily Evans' school was pretty perfect.

She had just finished her third year at a magical school called Hogwarts, where she had learned about magic and mysteries. She was a witch, a witch with a wand and magical abilities, which could turn teacups into rats. Well, technically, she still wasn't allowed to do something like that, but at least she could tease her sister about it.

Lily Evans' life was pretty perfect.

Up until the day when Lord Voldemort visited her perfect life.


	2. Where are we?

_June 1978_

"So the Order it is? "

James Potter was lying on the sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room, throwing a Quaffel up into the air and catching it seconds later, only to repeat the action again and again. Hearing his friend's words he stopped, turned his head to the right and looked at Sirius intently.

"I have to do it. You know that." He averted his eyes back to the ceiling he had been staring at for the last ten minutes and continued his previous action. It had been like that for the last few weeks. Ever since James had announced to join the Order of the Phoenix, in order to fight against Lord Voldemort, his friends had doubted his decision. They would come up to him randomly, trying to convince him to rethink.

"Are you sure?"

James sighed when Remus joined the conversation. "Not you too… _again_." He whispered almost inaudibly.

"But you have to think about the risks, the danger…"

With a low growl he sat up jerkily, glaring at his three friends in frustration. "Don't you think I might have considered those dangers? Don't you think I might know exactly what I'm going to do? My parents worked for the Order for a long time, and they are now supporting it as well. _They_ have accepted my decision, so why can't you?"

"It's just…" Sirius hunched his shoulders, at a loss of words.

"We're just worried, that's all." Peter said quietly, avoiding his eyes expertly.

James sighed, his anger fading with Peter's words. "I know, and I appreciate your worries, but it's what I want to do. I want to do something meaningful. I want to help those people who can't defend themselves. You _have_ to understand that." He ran his hand through his black locks, while trying to convince his friends.

"And we do." Remus reassured him. "It's just… so dangerous."

They fell into silence, the last words hanging in the air between them, dark and heavy.

"What does she think about it?" Sirius asked after a while, jerking his head to the left and indicating the girl sitting in the other corner of the common room.

James didn't look into the direction, knowing full well of whom he was speaking. He shook his head. "It's none of her business. We're over."

"Does that mean she doesn't know at all?" Remus asked, his eyes widening as he glanced over at the girl and back to his friend.

"Why should she? She said it herself, she doesn't give a shit." James eyes flickered to the left corner of the room, where she was sitting by herself, writing into a notebook. Watching her for a few moments he shook his head again, closing his eyes regretfully. "It's not as if we were that serious anyway." He laughed humourlessly for a second and took a deep breath.

"It's definite." James nodded his head as if confirming himself. "We're graduating in a few days, and then I'll join the Order." Standing up he threw the Quaffle up into the air once more, letting it fall to the floor and making his way to the dormitories. When he passed her he hesitated for a moment, but then he sighed again and climbed up the stairs, three pairs of eyes following his moves worriedly.

oooooo

The graduation went by silently. There was war outside of the secure walls of Hogwarts, no one was in the mood to celebrate. He was more than okay with that. It was unbelievable that there were people who accepted, even advocated those machination happening in their world. But it was before the final banquet meal, that James' anger resurfaced. Dumbledore had just finished his speech when Professor Keens stood up, he had prepared his own, it seemed.

"Your exams are over. You all succeeded and you can now leave this school and be a part of something greater, something meaningful and important." James hands balled into fists. Everybody knew Keens was a Death Eater sent by the corrupt Ministry of Magic, but nobody said it out loud and nobody could do anything against it. Not even the Headmaster himself. Most of the students accepted it, many even supported Keens and his stupid ideas. He scoffed at the idea of joining something as distasteful and atrocious as Voldemort and his plans for the magical world. He was not a child anymore; he knew what was going on.

"It is a pleasure for me, to congratulate _real_ wizards and witches to their graduation." James gritted his teeth. They all knew why he was saying this. It wasn't a secret or mystery why there suddenly weren't any muggleborns graduating or even frequenting the school at all.

It had happened after his second year at Hogwarts. At that time The Prophet had still commented and informed about the sudden attacks and murders on muggles and muggle born witches and wizards. When he had returned for his third year only few muggleborns came back with him to continue school. Many of them were missing; nobody knew what had happened to them. And nobody said anything about it anymore. After his Christmas holidays the school contained not even a quarter of the muggleborns from a year before. And by his fifth year there were none at all. Just purebloods and some halfbloods were walking the halls and classes of a school that had normally accepted everyone with magic in their blood.

James looked at his parents while the teacher spoke on about the _greater idea_ and saw the aversion in their faces. He was so glad he had parents who understood the unfairness and malice that was going on and who tried to work against it.

That was also the reason he wanted to join the Order. Why should he be sheltered and kept in safety just because of blood. He was nothing more a wizard than someone who hadn't magical parents. It was absurd to think otherwise.

"Hey James." His thoughts were interrupted by a female voice near his ear. When he looked up he was met by deep blue eyes and a shy smile. He noticed that the students and parents had begun eating, Professor Keens was sitting again, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

"Hey." He said lamely, looking at his former girlfriend of a year.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

He shrugged. "Sure." Leaving his friends and parents behind he followed her out of the Great Hall.

As soon as they were by the lake she turned to him, her eyes narrowed in angry slits, her lips turned down in frustration.

"I won't allow you to do it." She said, poking a forefinger into his chest. "You _can't_ do it. It's too dangerous."

"Who told you?" he asked, running his hand through his hair angrily.

"It doesn't matter." She answered, trying to be calm and collected.

"It was Sirius, right?"

She closed her eyes, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter." She repeated, blond strands of hair falling into her eyes as she looked up at him.

"It matters to me." He shouted. "You weren't supposed to know."

"But I know. And I'm glad I do. Because I won't allow it."

He scoffed, looking at her incredulously. "You won't _allow_ it? Who are you? My mother?"

Her eyebrows knitted together and she crossed her arms over her chest. "I might as well talk to her, so she knows that-"

"She knows it." James interrupted, surprising her.

"She-"

"God, Kelly. I thought you of all people would understand." He looked almost disappointed, shaking his head slowly.

"What do you mean?" she snapped, confused.

"I talk about your friend you used to hang out with all the time a few years ago."

She looked up at him, daring him to keep talking.

"Lily?" he asked. "Remember her?"

Her features darkened abruptly, her mood dangerously angry. "Don't you dare talk about her," she snapped at him. "Don't you dare bring her up in this conversation. She has _nothing_ to do with this. Nothing."

"Oh she has. She was a muggleborn, wasn't she? And where is she now? Whose fault is it that she is nowhere to be found? That she's missing?"

Angry tears welled up in Kelly's blue eyes. "This is so low. It's not fair that you talk about her. You didn't even know her."

"That's not the point." James said, calmer now, trying to convince the girl in front of him that this was nothing you could close your eyes about. That this was important. That this was something you couldn't ignore like she had done for almost 5 years now. "The point is that she is gone, maybe even dead because of Voldemort."

Kelly startled at the last word, tears pouring down her cheeks. "She's not dead." She whispered desperately. "She isn't."

"Even if she isn't. What life does she have? Her parents are dead, we know as much. She might have been on the run for four years. No friends, no one helping her. That's no life."

James shuddered at the thought. He remembered Lily Evans, not all too well, but he remembered. She had been a Gryffindor, like him, but after third year she hadn't returned. He remembered her being friends with a Slytherin, Snape, so he hadn't been particularly interested in her at first. But Kelly and Alice, both Gryffindors had been good friends with her. Her friendships were proof of her ability to like everyone, whether Slytherin or not. He remembered Kelly talking about her sometimes; asking the teachers for information after her friend had vanished. And he remembered third year, when he had had a light crush on her.

When he thought about her he mostly remembered red hair and green eyes. No one could forget such beautiful eyes. But her face was strangely blurred. They had not talked too often. He had admired her, however. She was strong and independent and witty and caring. Not able to stop himself, he had asked her out once. It had been a disaster. Maybe he had been infatuated. He didn't really know. He _did_ know, though, that she had always sat in the front of the class, her hand always raised when a teacher asked a question. She'd been at the top of most classes, and when someone like her wasn't allowed to be here, then who was?

"I still don't think you should do this." Kelly spoke up after a long period of silence. "You'd be experiencing the same life." She sniffled, brushing away the last traces of tears.

"You just don't get it." James said sadly, shaking his head and turning away, leaving her behind.

 _October_

It was in the middle of the night when she was awoken by a shake and a hushed voice.

Her eyes dragged themselves open, from darkness to darkness. There was no snapping, slapping, no jolt. Those things happen when you wake from a bad dream, not when you wake _into_ one. She felt her headache from the last day return and her stomach rumbled angrily from the lack of food. She touched her forehead consciously and ran her hand through her dirty, knotted hair.

"Lily?" the hushed voice hissed into her ear. "Sorry, it took me so long. I think people have been watching me. I have the map for you. And there is a note in there as well. They'll know who you are if you have this." Something heavy was pressed into her hands. "Here. It's the best I could do. I don't know when you have to leave. It could happen every day. So be prepared. I'll be back in a few days."

The door opened and shut.

And there was the sound again. Everything was so noisy in the dark when she was alone. Each time she moved, there was the sound of a crease. Each time she took a breath, there was the sound of draught. She longed for real noises. She longed for the door to open and the people outside taking her with them into the sun. When had she been able to see the sun for the last time? For now she could only sit here, doing nothing.

The bag she was holding contained bread, three carrots and a bottle of water. Wizards and witches weren't able to produce food with their magic. She hadn't been able to learn enough at the school she had once frequented, but as much she knew.

Lily divided the bread into three parts and set two aside. The one in her hand she immersed herself in, chewing und gulping, forcing it down the dry corridor of her throat. Then the carrots. Again she sat two aside and devoured the third. The noise was astounding. Surely Voldemort himself could hear the sound of the orange crush in her mouth.

She took a gulp of the water, swallowing the bits of carrot down. She reminded herself to drink first the next time and took another gulp. Setting the bottle aside she tried to stretch her legs. The joints cracked painfully and her muscles protested from the lack of motion for such a long time.

A long time… how long had she been in here? She didn't know, didn't count the endless nights and days. She tried to live from one minute to the next. Every hour was a gift from God. A gift that could be ripped out of her hands any minute.

ooooooooo

James entered the house without making any sound. It was almost morning and he didn't want to wake up his parents just yet. Taking his shoes off, he went into the kitchen, helping himself to some sandwiches, which were waiting for him on a plate on the table.

He wouldn't be able to sleep, of that he was sure. Too much had happened that night, too much had he seen. A boy had died, a mere 13 years old, not a chance against three adult death eaters. And he hadn't been there on time, hadn't been able to help him. What was he doing in the Order if he wasn't able to help those that needed it? He had been part of it for four months now, and there had nothing been to do, to accomplish. They were helpless, all of them. They had to hide, working in the night, doing nothing during the day. They had to sneak around, trusting nobody, saying nothing, and it was all in vain. When they found out something, it was often too late. Information was hard to get, nobody knew who worked with or against them.

It was getting dim, first traces of sunlight illuminating the hills in the east. He was so tired, so unbelievably tired, but he hadn't slept well for a while. The war was getting to him. The unfairness, the hostility, the angst were getting to him. He hadn't heard from Remus in a while. He had joint the Order, as well as Sirius and Peter, a little while after him. They had all realized how important it was to stand up for those things they believed in. Remus worked as a spy and had joined the werewolves, which supported Voldemort. It was more than dangerous and James was anxious.

"James, there you are." He heard the relieved voice of his mother and turned to see her standing at the door to the kitchen.

"Hey mum." He greeted her, standing up and putting the empty plate away. "I was just heading to bed."

She nodded understandingly and hugged her son tightly. "How'd it go?" she whispered, standing on the tips of her toes to even reach his shoulder.

James sighed. "Not good." She let go of him, looking at James sadly. "The boy died, we were too late… again."

"Oh James…" she was about to hug him again, but James shook his head.

"No mum. I just-" he didn't finish but his mother understood completely. He kissed her cheek, leaving for his room.

"Oh, before I forget-" she called after him and James turned to look at her again. "Someone is coming. We don't know when, but I think within the next few months. I just wanted you to know." He nodded in understanding.

"Sleep well, darling."

When James had left she sat by the window, watching the sun rise. Dorea Potter was in her mid sixties. She and her husband Henry were too old participating in the war as active members of the Order, but they had found another way to help. They granted shelter for those who needed it. Sometimes there were four or five muggleborns living at the Potter's mansion, staying as long as they wanted and then the Potters helped them to escape from Great Britain into the South, where the influence of Voldemort wasn't as large as it was in Europe.

There hadn't been muggleborns in their house for awhile, but the day before George Meadowes had informed her that a girl would need their help within the next few months. She had been on the run for more than four years and was currently hiding in the cellar of a Squib. She couldn't apparate to them because she did not have a license and Apparation network was being supervised by Death Eaters, as well as every other transportation method. They would immediately be informed if someone travelled unregistered. Therefore the girl would come by foot.

With a sigh, Dorea stood up making her way to the second floor of the house. She opened the guest room where Sirius had used to sleep when he had been living with them. Looking around the room, she took out her wand from a pocket of her robe, flicking it once. In an instant the room was prepared to harbour a refugee. Once again she looked her surroundings over, wishing the girl all the luck to make it to them unharmed.

 **Hope you enjoyed it. In case you're wondering about the title of the chapter... It's a line from the song** ** _Hide and Seek_** **by Imogen Heap. Every chapter is going to be titled by a line from that song. I guess if you listen to it (which I highly recommend) you'll realise why I've chosen it ;)**


	3. What the hell is going on?

**_Thank you so much for favouriting/following my ff and a huge thanks to the reviewers :) Here's a new chapter and I hope you tell me what you think about it!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own anything._**

 _Chapter 2: What the hell... is going on?_

 _November_

The door was being opened and closed rather loudly, too loudly in fact. But the red-haired girl who was sleeping on the floor, covered by a blanket wasn't disturbed.

"Lily." Someone whispered from the door, but to the girl it sounded like a loud shout into her ear.

"Lily, wake up!" Opening her eyes reluctantly, she was greeted by semi-darkness and a pair of dark eyes, focused on her form.

"It's time."

The last bits of sleepiness vanished with these words uttered. It was time. Hurriedly she stood up, almost losing her balance from her haste. For a moment she felt nauseated and she closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. Her trachea ached from the cold air and she had to suppress a shudder, which was threatening to run down her spine. Ice-cold fingers fumbled for her bag, gripping the strap as tightly as she could.

"Ready?" the voice asked.

Lily took another deep breath, coughing twice from pure nervousness.

"Yes."

Her voice sounded scratchy and rough from the lack of use.

"Then let's go."

ooooooo

"Be careful, James. And get back safely." Dorea Potter had tears in her eyes when her son said goodbye to her and her husband. He would be gone for more than two months. Away from home for a mission given by the Order.

"I promise, mum!" James kissed her cheek and she embraced him in a tight hug.

"I'm so worried." She sobbed, the tears finally travelling down her cheeks.

"He will be fine, Dorea." Henry Potter said from beside her, clapping his son's shoulder affectionately.

"Of course I will." James reassured, finally breaking away from his mother's arms. "And I will be back soon as well." He nodded his head at them, ready to leave. "Sirius is waiting." He added, gesturing to the door.

"We love you James. Be safe." His mother called, as James opened the door to the front yard.

"Good luck son." His father added and in the blink of an eye he vanished from their sight.

Dorea sobbed, leaning against her husband for support. "He's going to come back, Dorea." Henry said the one thing they both worried about out loud.

"Of course he is." Dorea replied, finally wiping away the tears, her eyes still on the spot where her only son had disappeared moments ago.

oooooooo

White clouds of breath vanished sporadically in the cold air, while Lily tried to calm herself down. Her heart seemed to rip her ribcage open with the sheer force of its beats. She was currently squeezing herself into a small alcove, in between two houses, in a village she had never been before and which seemed to be deserted. Her pulse was speeding, her clammy fingers were grapping at the wall behind her, searching for hold because her feet did not seem to support her properly anymore. Uncontrollable tremors flashed through her body. This was not, however, due to the cold. Not two metres away from her, just around the corner of the house, were three men – two of them Death Eaters. The other – a victim.

"They're all gone, mudblood. You're all by yourself." She heard a deep voice say.

"No one's gonna hear your screams." The other one hissed, his voice a low snarl.

"N-no… please… don't…" the third voice whispered. She heard someone laugh and then an ear-splintering cry broke through the night.

"No!" she gasped, and clapped both her hands over her mouth in fright a second later. But it was too late.

They had heard her.

oooooooo

Pitch black night awaited him when he apparated into the house of his destination. The door was still locked and in place, and when he entered the living room there seemed nothing amiss. He was debating whether it was safe to light his wand when he heard his name being hissed.

"Prongs?" The voice came from downstairs. "Prongs where are you?"

James followed Sirius' voice, which was slowly getting louder.

"Prongs, come down here." The basement, James decided, and he hurried down the flight of stairs.

In not more than a few seconds he was by his mate's side. "What is it?" he asked, but when he followed Sirius' gaze he fell silent. In front of them was a room, totally destroyed. Amidst the chaos lay a figure, unmoving, on the hard stone floor. Without another word they both entered the room, anxiously. They didn't know if it was a victim or an enemy lying there. Was the person dead? Unconscious? Or just pretending to be knocked out?

Their wands held out in front of them, they advanced, slowly reaching the middle of the basement, where the figure was lying. James nodded at Sirius, to let him know he would check on the person and Sirius would have the task to look out for other endangerments.

Still holding his wand in his right hand he touched the shoulder of the person with his left lightly. No reaction. His eyes flickered to Sirius who was currently looking at a dark corner to his left sceptically. James averted his eyes back to the person and, taking the risk of exposing them, illuminated his wand.

The unconscious person in front of him was a woman in her mid-forties. The right side of her face was covered in blood from a wound on her temple. Breath was coming out faintly from her half opened mouth. Her eyes were tightly shut; no movement was coming from her limbs.

Sirius was now by his side, observing the woman. "We should take her to a healer." he decided and James nodded his agreement.

"Do you think there is still someone in here?" James asked, looking over his shoulder.

"No, I don't think so. But we should come back later, just to be sure."

Taking James' silence as consent, Sirius bent down and lifted the woman into his arms.

They vanished only a split second before a scream full of fear resounded nearby.

ooooooo

Lily cried out loudly when she was being dragged onto the street by her hair. The Death Eater pushed her to the ground, her head smashing painfully onto the cold stone.

"Look there, another dirty worthless mudblood. It must be our lucky day." A cruel dark voice sneered.

Lily pushed herself up a bit to glare at the man in front of her. He wore one of the masks all Death Eaters wore, hiding his true identity cowardly. Her gaze flickered to their other victim, a boy, around her age give or take a few years, she couldn't really tell. He was still recovering from the Cruciato curse which had been used on him only minutes ago. His breath was heavy, his arms and legs limp, eyes closed.

"Now," the Death Eater that had dragged her, began, "what shall we do with you?" Faking innocence, he twirled his wand in between two fingers pretending to think really hard. Oh how Lily whished for a wand right now. What would she give to be able to defend herself. Even though she didn't know many duelling spells, nothing was worse than this feeling of defencelessness.

"I say we kill her." Said the other Death Eater, stepping a bit closer. "And before that we could have a little fun with her." Lily didn't see his face but she could hear the smirk in his voice. She shuddered, thinking furiously how she could get away. There seemed no options whatsoever.

The Death Eater nearest to her grabbed her by the chin painfully, forcing her to stand up. "You're right, we should." He brought his face close to her. Lily could smell his disgusting breath on her face, her eyes widening in fear. "Aren't you a pretty little mudblood?" he whispered dangerously. His hand was about to grab her thigh but she kicked him painfully in the shin.

"Let me go." She demanded, surprising herself about sounding much more confident than she felt. The Death Eater swore, but his hold on her chin only intensified. "Dirty little thing," he muttered and then shouted, louder, to the other one: "Kill the bloke first. His mother up there won't miss him for long." He jerked his head, indicating a house a bit down the road behind him. "She has it coming too, if she isn't dead already."

"No!" the boy who had been lying still all that time and whom Lily had thought to be unconscious suddenly leapt to his feet, lunging himself at one of the Death Eaters, who merely laughed, flickering his wand. The boy crumbled to the floor again, screaming in agony.

While the Death Eater was occupied with the boy, the other one still holding Lily focused on her again. She squirmed, panic rising in her stomach. Having no idea how to get away, she knew what was going to happen. Couldn't they just kill her? There were worse things than death, she'd even appreciate death. But they were planning something else for her.

Slowly, the Death Eater removed the mask, revealing his smirking face to her, his eyes clouded with lust

 **So there you go. Hope you enjoyed it. Leave me a review :) Cheers!**


	4. The dust has only just begun to fall

**Thanks for following/favouriting my story :) Here's a new chapter. Hope you like it.**

 **And just a quick reminder: the story is rated M for a reason...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

 _Chapter 3_

 _The dust has only just begun to fall_

"Set her down on the couch." Alice instructed when Sirius and James appeared in her kitchen. "All the rooms are occupied. There was an attack not four hours ago and Kingsley brought some injured people to me."

Sirius carried the woman to the sofa in the living room and Alice followed with a first aid kit. "We found her in her house near Hampshire." he told Alice, while she looked at the woman's injuries.

Alice was a healer at St. Mungo's, but because it was illegal to treat muggleborns in the hospital, she had started to help those who needed her at her and Frank's home. Mostly she treated those who were found by members of the Order.

"Was there anyone else?" she asked absent-mindedly, following a long scratch on the woman's arm with her wand. The wound closed itself and was almost invisible when she was finished.

"We're not sure. We'll head back as soon as we know she's going to be okay." Sirius said.

Alice nodded. "I'm not sure about her head injuries, I think I'll have to get a potion from St. Mungo's to be able to wake her up. But I'm on it, you don't have to worry. Go see if someone else needs your help."

With a nod and whispered thanks they retreated into the night.

"D' you reckon they're still there?" Sirius asked into the dark.

"I don't know, but I've got a weird feeling. We should hurry." And only moments later they were back in the dark basement.

ooooooo

"This is wonderful timing. I haven't had some action in quite some time." The man grinned as he groped Lily's arm and yanked her upwards while the boy in her peripheral vision still screamed in agony.

"Are you done with that mudblood yet, Rosier?" he asked impatiently and only a split second later the night erupted in green light.

Lily whimpered as she saw that the boy had stopped moving. The same moment she felt ropes binding her to the wall behind her.

"Oh don't worry, you'll be next." The man in front of her said. "Or…" he covered her right breast with his large hand and squeezed hard, making Lily flinch. "…maybe we'll keep you." His grin was menacing when he came near her face. With one sudden movement, he ripped open her shirt. Lily's heart hammered in her chest. It seemed it wanted to escape her body as much as she wanted to escape those men. Her eyes flickered to the other Death Eater who started to come nearer as well.

"What a waste." The man named Rosier said, reaching her and to Lily's disgust he had his hand in his pants.

"At least we'll have some fun." The former smirked and in one swift motion he brought his face to her neck and let his tongue travel down to her breast. "Delicious." He murmured and then he bit her hard into her nipple. Lily screamed, flailing her feet and managing to kick the man hard into his groin. He let out a muffled groan and fell forward onto his knees. The ropes disappeared and Lily stumbled to get away from him. But she wasn't able to make more than two steps when Rosier knocked her to the ground. A sick, loud snap and a sharp pain in her skull told Lily she had hit the stony ground and not a second later she felt the weight of the man on her. It seemed as if she had no air in her lungs anymore.

"You dirty thing. I believe it's time that you learned some manners." And without another word he pushed his hand down her trousers and hart into her sensitive flesh. Before he was able to stop her, she screamed a heart-wrenching scream that echoed through the night.

ooooo

The silent night was torn by a piercing scream. The agony and pain of the scream made James' flesh crawl. He looked at Sirius for a split second and they disappeared the next. When James opened his eyes again he was met by darkness. He looked around, trying to see something, anything, when another scream reached his ears. This time it was in immediate vicinity.

He turned and saw Sirius running into the direction the scream had come from. They seemed to be in a small disserted village.

Sprinting, James caught up with his friend and they reached a small house. Noises came from the other side and silently, they turned the corner.

A single lighted street lamp illuminated a horrible scene.

A man was standing there, his wand pointing at two figures on the floor. Another, motionless figure lay a few feet away. Instinctively, James pointed his own wand at the man. But it was when he heard a whimper that he realized that there was something odd with the two figures on the ground. They seemed in a kind of wrestle. It was too dark to see the faces of the people, but he knew that the one standing had to be a Death Eater. Without a second thought, he started to run again, Sirius upon his heels and with one swift motion he had stunned the first man, who fell down without making a sound.

"Hey!" Sirius cried loudly, and the figure on top of the other looked up. He had a mask on his face and that was all they had to know. Simultaneously they pointed their wands at him, but the man was quick to reach for his own. He conjured a shield to protect himself from the spells that James and Sirius fired his way in that instant. Suddenly the street was alight with the lights of spells and it was then that James was able to see the third figure lying on the ground, half-naked and covered in angry scratches. A girl, probably around his own age, her face twisted in panic and pain, and tears streaming down her face.

He looked at Sirius who nodded, signalling him that he was good on his own, and James sprinted to the girl, casting a shield-charm around her and himself.

"Are you alright?" he asked anxiously, looking over his shoulder to make sure Sirius was alright too. But the girl didn't seem to hear him. She had scrambled to an upright position, her head on her knees and her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

James saw her torn clothes and his stomach turned at the thought of what the men had been about to do to her. He took off his cloak and wrapped it around the girl. She looked up at the sudden warmth. Emerald green eyes focused in on him and he looked back, stunned. He knew those eyes.

"Look out!" he heard Sirius cry, and James turned just in time to realize that his protection charm had worn off. A green jet of light missed the girl by millimetres and she shrieked in horror. James fired back, one spell after the other, a new anger he couldn't quite place engulfing him. The Death Eater backed away slowly, both Sirius and James closing in on him, and Sirius' stunning spell hit target finally. James checked if he was really knocked out while Sirius looked at the other Death Eater, still lying on the floor. When they finally turned to the girl, she was gone.

"No!" James shouted loudly, "You have to wait! You're safe with us!" he looked around, trying to see movement somewhere. "Come back!" he shouted again. Helplessly, he looked at Sirius.

"Let her leave. She's afraid. She's not going to trust us." He said quietly.

James turned back to gaze into the darkness. "Come back!" he shouted again. "Please, Lily, come back!"

ooooooo

Shouts echoed through the night, following Lily into the forest. Her harsh breathing didn't allow her to hear what the men called after her, but she didn't care. " _Run! Just run!_ " was her only thought and it repeated itself in her head like a mantra. She couldn't believe how lucky she had been. To come out of this situation almost unscratched. So close… it had been so close. Her lungs ached from the cold air and she felt a sharp pain at her sides but she kept moving. Minutes went by, or were it hours? She didn't know, but finally her legs couldn't support her any longer and she fell to the ground. Coughing harshly she tried to catch her breath but it only made her stomach turn. Seconds later her body convulsed and she vomited. There wasn't much to vomit but her body wouldn't stop convulsing. So she lay there, in the middle of a dark forest, coughing and spitting water for minutes and tears spilling out of her eyes at the same time. When her body finally stopped she fell on her back, shivering wildly and was unconscious only seconds later.

oooooooo

"Are you really sure?"

"It was her, believe me! I know it was her."

"I don't even remember what she looked like. How can you be so sure?"

James closed his eyes and emerald green eyes flashed behind his eyelids. He had not known Lily Evans very well back at school. And he had forgotten what she had looked like. But he remembered her eyes. They were those kinds that you see rarely but wouldn't forget. Ever.

"Her eyes. I remember her eyes."

Sirius fell silent and James knew that he remembered them too.

"She is alive. And we could have helped her. We could have made sure she was safe."

"You know that's not true." James eyes snapped open and he turned to look at his friend. "She cannot be safe. Anywhere."

James sighed heavily. "But we could have made it better. At least a little bit."

Silence followed his words. After Lily's departure they had found another muggleborn, a young boy who had been murdered by the Death Eaters. He must had been the son of the woman they had rescued earlier. They had been too late to help him. Frustration unfurled within James like some sort of poison. With every heartbeat it spread out, from his inner organs to his limbs. But Lily gave him hope. She was alive, after all these years. A fighter.

"I have to tell Kelly."

"No you don't!" snapped Sirius, irritably.

"You just don't get it. You just don't get what this means… Lily… living!" James shook his head.

"No, _you_ don't get it." Sirius retorted. "You would endanger her, by telling other people, even her former friends. You haven't seen Kelly in months. You don't even know what she's up to. We only know what she doesn't do, and that's working for the Order."

James glared at him. "Are you implying she's a Death Eater now or what's your point?"

"You don't know that. Hey-"he held his hands up as if in surrender at James' accusing glare, "it doesn't have to be that way. But she could. Or she's imperiused, or blackmailed or whatever..."

"Or she would just be glad to know that her friend is alive." James said feebly, but he knew Sirius was right. Of course he was. James had been so glad to know that Lily, said to be dead Lily, was alive. And for a few blissful minutes he had forgotten what that meant. It meant she had spent her last 4 years in constant fear and on the run.

"We can't know that. And can't take the risk."

James nodded his head, defeated. How could he even imagine what Lily had been going through?

ooooooooo

She jerked awake only minutes later, trembling furiously. The image of the Death Eater's face in front of her only slightly disappearing. Disoriented she sat up. She had to hide somewhere. Somewhere warm, preferably. She wrapped herself tightly into the coat the man had given her. A nice, musky smell engulfed her and she inhaled deeply. Somehow, it soothed her immensely. But not only the smell… there were people who still fought against Voldemort and his supporters. Those men, they had helped her, without fear. They were on her side, fighting for her. Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes as these thoughts engulfed her. She was not alone. She knew she could have stayed with them, and now, as the anxiety slowly left her, she knew she should have. But at that moment she had panicked. She had just wanted to leave those Death Eaters as far behind as possible. With a sigh she heaved herself to her feet. She had to find shelter after all.


	5. Crop circles in the carpet

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 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 _Chapter 4: Crop circles in the carpet..._

 _January 1979_

Just a little further, just a little further… and she would reach her aim. It couldn't be far anymore. Without knowing how long she had been travelling she was certain to be almost there. _There_ meaning a place to stay… a _safe_ place to stay. Stopping to catch her breath she looked around. It was almost morning. There was a shimmer of light radiating in the east… a silver lining. The crumpled map in her hand told her this was the place she ought to be.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath. She sensed it. There was magic in the air. _Good_ magic. She was outside of Godric Hollow. How long had she been on her way to get here? How often had she dreamed to arrive? It was now or never! She reached under the cloak she had got from the man who had rescued her. She had felt safer since she had it and its smell meant hope for her. For a moment she fumbled with her sweater underneath but then she was able to get out her small bag, which she had worn under her clothes to protect it. With trembling fingers she rummaged through it and found the small envelope. Bringing it close to her face she traced the writing: _Open to gain entrance!_

With her heart beating fast she turned the envelope and opened it carefully. She slid her fingers inside and felt a short, sharp pain. Startled, she led the envelope fall out of her hands into the snow. Her finger, she noticed, was bleeding. Lily bend down, picking up the envelope and the object that she had cut her finger on. It was a small piece of a mirror. Confused, she stared into it, seeing herself for the first times in months, or years? Who was that girl gazing back at her? She didn't recognize herself for a moment. Pale hollow cheeks, dark circles around the eyes and dirt, there was dirt everywhere. She huffed. The girl she had thought herself to be was gone a long time ago.

"What is this?" she whispered, sucking at her injured finger absentmindedly. Would she be able to figure it out before the sun would come out and she would have to hide?

She flinched when, quite suddenly, a pair of brown eyes appeared in the mirror, instead of her green ones, and stared at her intently.

"Who sent you?" asked a man's voice quietly.

"M- Meadows. George Meadows." Her voice sounded raw. When was the last time she had used it?

The brown eyes twinkled in relief. "Thank Merlin, we were worried you wouldn't make it here. Just one moment."

Lily didn't even have time to comprehend completely what the man was saying, when a second later a large mansion appeared in front of her.

* * *

"She arrived!"

The bowl, a split second before in her hands, clattered noisily to the marble floor, spreading its contents into each corner of the large kitchen. But Dorea Potter was already out of the room, standing next to her husband in the blink of a moment, grasping his arm.

"I didn't think she would make it." She whispered, guiltily, watching Henry open the front door.

There, in front of the gate, stood a girl. She had to be around James' age, Dorea thought and her eyes watered. _So young…_ The Potter family had harboured many muggleborns, fleeing from Voldemort, over the last years. But nonetheless, they were nervous every time. Quickly, Henry and Dorea neared the gate. The girl before them took two steps back, afraid and mistrusting. Understandingly.

With trembling fingers Dorea opened the gate doors, and for the first time they had an unhindered view of the person in front of their house. She was thin, way too thin for her age, dirty and she seemed exhausted. Still, her stance and eyes betrayed her attentiveness. She was ready to run if she had to. And Dorea was proud of this brave young woman.

"What's your name?" Henry Potter asked and waited patiently for the red-head to find her voice. "Lily Evans".

"Don't be afraid Lily. We are Dorea and Henry Potter. You're safe with us."

"P- Potter?" she stumbled, her eyes wary. "That sounds familiar." She said, voice quiet, stance unsteady. A moment of silence. And then she fell forward, into the arms of Henry Potter, unconscious.

"Still no word from Remus?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Potter." Albus Dumbledore replied quietly. He and James were in Dumbledore's office, alone. The day was almost over and with it ended James mission.

"What do you think does that mean?"

"You're afraid he changed sides." The professor observed.

"No!" James said immediately, sharply. However, he couldn't betray himself. There was a small, undesirable voice inside his head that reminded him, of how long they hadn't heard from Remus. Had he joined the werewolves following Voldemort for good?

"We have to consider it, though," Dumbledores' sad voice brought James back from his train of thought. "He hasn't got in contact with us for too long. Something is amiss." They were both quiet for a moment, and then Dumbledore continued. "Was this the problem you wanted to discuss with me?"

James shook his head slowly. "No, there is something else. I… During my mission, I encountered someone… I would have told you sooner, but I wasn't able to communicate with you during the two months' mission. I came here as soon as it was over."

Dumbledore didn't say anything, so James continued. "In December, Sirius and I were in a village near Hampshire. We were there on a tip-off and found a woman and later her son. He was dead, but the woman is okay. And there… there was another muggleborn. A girl… she… it was Lily Evans."

"Lily Evans?" Dumbledore asked, his voice sharp. "Are you sure?"

"It was her." James said firmly.

"Where did you take her?"

James looked down. "We… she escaped. She must have been afraid. Sirius and I were fighting a Death Eater and when we turned around she was gone. I wanted to tell you because… because we have to search her. We have to find and protect her. We-"

"James," Dumbledore said quietly, sympathetically. "It won't be possible to just find her. I know this is hard but she could be anywhere."

James' temper rose at his words. "But she has no one. She's been on the run for years. We have to do _something_."

"It would endanger her if we told people she's still alive." Dumbledore said calmly, repeating Sirius' words. "Her life is at risk enough already, don't you think?"

James nodded dejectedly. "I just… have the urge to help her somehow. I know her. She is… Lily."

* * *

Her eyelids fluttered, but she was not able to open her eyes for good. With a foggy mind, she fought against the last traces of sleep. She tried to come up with some sort of memories of the previous days, but there was nothing. However, she felt comfortable and rested, although still slightly cold. Where was she?

Slowly, she opened her eyes to semi-darkness. She was lying in a bed, covered with white sheets. The bed and room she was in were huge and looked like they belonged into a palace rather than a normal house. With a sudden jolt she remembered the mansion appear in front of her eyes. Well, that fitted. Sitting up she looked around and discovered a glass of water standing on the nightstand. She grabbed it and drank greedily. It was cold and almost hurt when it run down her throat but she couldn't stop until the glass was empty.

She was putting the glass back onto the nightstand when she heard a door creak. In an instant she was on her feet and her heart in her throat.

"Lily?" a tentative voice asked and only moments later a shock of black hear appeared in the doorway. "Oh, good, you're awake."

She didn't remember the man's name but she felt herself relax immediately, finally remembering where she was and, most importantly, that she was safe.

The man opened the door fully and revealed himself and his wife, which stood a few feet behind him and looked about ready to cry.

"How are you?" he asked. He didn't approach her, seemingly afraid to scare her.

"F- fine." She said hoarsely.

"You've been sleeping for more than a day. We were worried-"

"Henry." The woman interrupted him, her voice shakily. She was clutching a coat to her chest.

Henry looked at his wife briefly. "Lily, we were wondering…" he indicated with his finger to his wife. Dorea. Her name was Dorea, she remembered suddenly. "You were wearing this." Dorea stretched out her hands, showing her the cloak. "Where did you get this?" Henry asked quietly.

Lily didn't respond, just looked at them uncomprehendingly.

"It belongs to James." Dorea sobbed, fresh tears streaming down her face. "Our son. Did… did you find it somewhere or…" she stopped herself, not able to finish her train of thoughts. Henry had an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her.

And finally Lily understood. The gratitude she felt for him was almost overwhelming her. It had been James? She knew James! In her panic and angst she hadn't recognised him, though.

"He saved me." She said, for once without trepidation. "He saved my life."

Dorea Potter inhaled sharply. "And is he…?"

"They fought against Death Eaters. He and another guy. And they won. I don't know what happened to him afterwards because I fled when-"but she stopped speaking when Dorea embraced her in a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered, her tears drippling down Lily's neck, "that's all I've wanted to hear."


	6. sinking

**Thank you so much for favouriting, following my story and a special thanks to those who review. I really appreciate it :)**

 **Finally a new chapter :) sort of a filler, sorry for that. I still hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

 _sinking..._

It was almost morning when he finally arrived. He felt exhausted, slowly stepping into the kitchen. Although he was hungry, his desire for sleep was bigger. He bent down to write a note to his parents, not wanting to wake them at this hour. They would be glad if he did, but considering their age he wanted them to get their rest. His mother was sure to wake him soon enough. With a giant yawn he climbed the stairs to his bedroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. Passing Sirius' former bedroom he wondered briefly if the refugee was already here. But then he reached his own bedroom and, knowing his bed and hours full of peaceful sleep were awaiting him, all other thoughts vanished from his mind.

ooooooooooo

She tried to contain herself. Really, she did. Last time she had got food she had devoured so much in such a short time that she had been sick afterwards. Her stomach was not used to such an amount of food, Mrs Potter had said. Therefore, she had decided to give Lily only small portions, in short intervals. However, Lily still had problems with the slow eating. She had willed herself to eat fast during her escape, always feeling watched. Often, the food was even stolen. She wasn't proud of her actions, but hunger let you forget all about pride.

When she had opened her eyes this morning a tray with toast, some scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice had stood on her nightstand. Lily had been at the Potter mansion for three days now, but she had yet to see more of the house. She had been too exhausted to do much more than sleep or eat or go into the bathroom.

Looking down at the almost empty plate she felt her stomach object. Too fast, again. Sighing, she ate the last bit of her toast, savouring every bit of it. She felt better today, rested. Still, in her dreams she had seen the Death Eater again, like every night, hovering over her, touching her. She shuddered and shook her head. _Don't think about it Lily!_

Slowly, she stood up and went to the window. Throwing back the curtains she looked outside and was greeted by a magnificent sunrise. Lily felt almost peaceful, watching the sunlight creep over the hills and brightening the sky. Safe. She was safe. It was still a feeling she could not quite grasp.

Deciding it was time to get out of her sanctuary at last she grabbed the sweatpants and jumper that Mrs Potter had put on a chair for her. They were a bit too big on her, but they were comfortable and smelled wonderfully. She took the tray from her nightstand and headed for the door. Opening it slowly she looked outside. It seemed as if the house was sleeping. Gingerly, she set off down the hallway, through semi-darkness, in search of the kitchen.

The house was hu _ghuge_. She passed several doors until she reached a staircase. Downstairs she found herself in an enormous hall, and doors at each end of it. If she tried to find her way around she was sure to get lost. She was about to go back to her room and wait for someone to come to her when she heard a noise to her right. Seconds later Mrs Potter rushed through one of the doors. She stopped when she spotted Lily and beamed at her.

"Lily, you're awake" she stated, coming towards her, still smiling brightly. "How are you feeling?"

"Very well, thank you." Lily replied hesitantly. The different mood from the days before startled her.

"Come with me, I'll prepare breakfast for you."

"Oh but I-"Lily started but Mrs Potter interrupted her excitedly

"James came back."

Lily's heart started bounding faster but she was not sure why. This was the guy who had saved her life. She was here because of him. She felt ineffable gratitude towards him, but how could she ever thank him enough? Was she prepared to meet her savour?

Her pulse quickening even more she followed Mrs Potter into the kitchen. An empty kitchen. Mrs Potter seemed to notice Lily looking around for him and smiled.

"He's not up yet. He must have come during the night though, he left me a note." Lily saw a piece of paper in Mrs Potter's hand which she must have been holding the whole time. "I'm preparing a special breakfast for him. What would you like?" she asked, seemingly forgetting she had brought Lily something into her room.

Lily pointed to the tray still in her hand. "It was delicious, thank you Mrs Potter."

"Oh, wonderful." Mrs Potter smiled at her warmly. "And please call me Dorea."

She poured them each a cup of tea and they sat down at the kitchen table.

"You're already here for three days and I don't know anything about you. I feel like a terrible host."

Lily smiled shyly at her. "I feel like a terrible guest, only sleeping and eating…"

"Oh don't be stupid. You must have been exhausted." Dorea's smile faded slowly and she gazed at Lily intently. "Do you mind me asking how old you are?"

"18" Lily answered, realizing she would turn 19 within a few days.

"18…" Dorea mused, "Like my son."

"I know him. From Hogwarts I mean" Lily clarified. "We were both Gryffindors."

"You remember him from school? How long have you…?" she didn't finish the question but Lily understood.

"I've been there for 3 years before they came and… my parents…" she didn't finish the sentence and looked at the cup of tea in her hands.

"This must have been horrible for you. I can't even imagine… we don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to."

Lily nodded thankfully, still staring at the untouched tea. Dorea squeezed her arm gently and stood up.

"Mrs Potter,-"

"Dorea." She corrected.

"Dorea" Lily smiled shakily up at her, "Thank you. I can't even put into words how thankful I am." She had glassy eyes and her lips trembled but she didn't look away this time.

"Oh dear, we're so glad to have you."

oooooooooo

It was early afternoon when he finally woke up. Nightmares had been hunting him and he didn't feel rested but couldn't go back to sleep either. Rubbing his face angrily with both his hands he sat up. It was rather dark in his room, all curtains closed, and his eyes needed time to adjust. Nothing in here had changed. It seemed as if he hadn't been away, in war, for the last two months. But he _felt_ so much different, so changed. The things he had seen, the things he had done – he would never be the same again. It was almost astounding, unbelievable even, that not a year ago he had been a student and his biggest concern had been the unfinished Transfiguration homework for McGonagall.

It felt good to be back home, feeling safe for the first time in weeks. It would be easy to pretend to be this school kid again, maybe back for Christmas holidays, reunited with his parents, looking forward to a snow fight with Sirius and his father, his mother watching them from the window.

He stood up quickly, his desire to see his parents suddenly and strikingly an urgent need. Why had he not realised how much he had missed them? And how worried they had had to be, because of him.

He found his mother in the living room, reading. Her back was facing him, so that she couldn't see him and he stood at the door, observing her for a moment. Her head was bent, her hair knotted in the base of her neck. Next to her, two knitting needles were flying mid-air, creating a scarf.

"You're making me a new scarf? About time." He grinned when his mother swirled around, her face braking into the biggest smile. She stood up hastily, her book falling to the floor.

"Oh boy," her eyes were shining with tears as she looked at him, "it's not for you. We both know yellow is not your colour."

He laughed and hugged her warmly. "I was so worried." She whispered.

"I know."

He kissed her cheek before releasing her. Her eyes still took him in, maybe scanning for injuries, while he was sitting down on the sofa.

"Where's dad?"

"He should be here soon. He went to Diagon Alley."

James nodded watching his mother sitting back down.

"Are you alright?" she asked. So much more meaning behind these words as there would normally be.

He nodded slowly. Thoughts and memories flashing through his mind. Death, darkness, spells, injuries, angst.

"I think so."

A tear rolled down his mother's cheek and he grabbed her hand. "It's ok mum."

"Tell me everything James. What did you do? Where did you have to go?" she whispered. Her eyes were still wet but she looked curious and determined as well.

He was still retelling his story when his father arrived half an hour later, who greeted him with a warm, relieved hug.

"James was telling me about his mission." Dorea explained, her voice had an edge whenever she was talking about her son during war.

"About saving redheads from Death Eaters?" Henry asked, a small proud smile on his lips and his eyes twinkling. James, who was busy helping himself to the fourth slice of a cake his mother had prepared specially for him, shook his head in amused disbelieve.

"Dad, what are you talking…" but he didn't finish his sentence and a confused frown appeared on his forehead as his eyes landed on something resting on the armchair his father had sat down on.

"Is that my coat?" he asked, astounded. "How did this-"again, he didn't finish his sentence as something was dawning to him.

"James," Henry took the coat from behind him and gave it to his son. "The girl who came a few days ago, the refugee, had it with her."

James gaped at him, not quite grasping what this meant but his heart beating wildly nonetheless.

"It's Lily, James. You saved her and now she is here with us." His mother beamed at him.

"WHAT?"


End file.
